Generation Flake: How We Can't Commit, From a Purchase to a Relationship
Am I the only one guilty of canceling my shared Lyft that's 7 minutes away because I assume I can get a closer option if I try again quick enough?
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I think my desktop background is the only thing in my life that has stayed consistent for the past 5 years, and that's saying something -- either I'm lazy or I really like that picture of myself.
We all want the best thing out there. Isn't that what competition was created for? It's meant to weed out the lesser versions.
Am I really though? True context of the amazing show, Kimmy Schmidt, aside, I bet this wasn't the same girl in first grade that had her back on the playground.
Now, I know it's not just me because last night some pals and I celebrated #happyhourhumpday (yeah, let's get it goin'), and got into some deep psychology $hit. Like, so much I forgot to finish my beer 'til the tab came... yeah... and that never happens.
Anyways.
We were talking about the breadcrumbs, and I told them about how bread crumbles from my theory that people just want to find a better option out there, always. We throw crumbs to keep people on the side because we never know when we're going to find that better option out there - life is seen as a constant competition to us millennials now. Maybe not just millennials, but, speaking as one, I've noticed such a huge shift and I speak to this in terms of our lowered value on commitment and our high tendency to flake.
*enjoy this commercial shoot of a married couple trying to say a tongue twister involving flakey crusts, ~tru luv at its finest~*
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I know some of us grew up getting medals and rewards for "participation" or "effort" rather than winning, but I feel like that's more of a younger generation thing. We are constantly seeking what's best and even if we may have it, we get bored.
Whether it be their mate, their friends, their job, their mode of transportation, their house - there's so much improvement with today's technology that everyone wants to get their hands on what the next thing is, and they can't completely commit to what they have. By contrast, back in the heyday when technology wasn't as prevalent, people were happy with staying in the same job for the rest of their life, with their same spouse, and white picket fence house.
This is not to say we do not have dreams now - we are more driven, ambitious, and entrepreneurial than ever, in my opinion.
And do not mistake me - millennials cannot be blamed for the loss of the American Dream or any current failures in the economy, government, blah, blah, blah, etc. I'm not getting into any of that right now.
In fact, it may be a good thing that we can't commit...
After reading this article about divorce rates, it's clear that marriages are more successful now than before - and it's a result of waiting longer to get married... and perhaps not committing to monogamy at all. I don't know about you, but I'm hella okay with that (mostly just the waiting part).
Lack of commitment is the NUMBER ONE reason people are getting divorced in the United states, at a whopping 73%!
Here are some other noteworthy points, according to the same Divorce Statistics and Facts article by Wilkinson & Finkbeiner:
"48 percent of those who marry before the age of 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared to 25 percent of those who marry after the age of 25."
....aaaand......
"Those who wait to marry until they are over 25 years old are 24 percent less likely to get divorced."
We may be indecisive as heck, but taking our time seems to be leading to success, and ~hopefully~ happiness? So explore, figure out your likes, enjoy your youth, and have fun while you're doing it!
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Let's revisit the inevitable.
Whether you've planned a date or a night out with a friend, you can be flaked on in as short as 5 minutes notice -- which is why it's important to always have a Plan B, C, D, and E.
JK.
Maybe.
....
It's ultimately up to your moral compass. This is our generation's thought process.
Welcome to reality. Oh, and try dating. Hahahahahahaha.
My mom's always said my worst vice is my indecisiveness. We all know the "idk, what do you want to eat?" game all too well. Except it's not a game, because games are supposed to be fun, right?
Then my stepmom gave me this mug when I moved into my apartment:
This is because I can never decide what the hell to wear and I cannot decide what to buy, and neither can my friends. We help each other. I think it took my roommate the other day somewhere around 3 hours to decide whether or not to buy these designer rag & bone booties and printed sweater that were nearly 60% off, with an additional 25% off that day (which she obviously ended up doing, you're welcome for the help hehe).
My friends are such fashionistas.
And now I may have different friends than the ones I had in grade school, but praise them for what they have gotten me through, i.e. listening to all of my drama, first date stories, tucking me in bed when it's necessary, and encouraging me to make my dreams happen. Shout-out to Cece and Em right now!
And in honor of the #tenyearchallenge, ugh.
Why do middle schoolers nowadays get to skip the awkward phase? That's one thing all generations should have to go through - it builds character. To my sister, count yourself lucky.